Day Twenty Three: Releasing the Past

Today was a really hard day for me. I haven't been feeling very strong in my early recovery, temptation is all around me. I watch TV and people are drinking and doing drugs, I walk outside I smell marijuana everywhere. I am clearly being tested on a whole new level. But on the upswing I was able to get rid of one my former connects numbers on my own. Its been really hard for me to let go of my connections, there is still that part of me that wants to have a backup plan, kinda like having a dick in a glass jar on the shelf just in case times get a little rough. However, I did it and my hands weren't shaking this time around. I can't move forward without leaving my past behind me. Today was a step in that direction. I learned its not the end of the world to not have a backup plan. I just need to continue to stay in the here and now, and continue to take one second at a time, even though I feel like I'm riding an emotional roller coaster. I will continue to work hard to keep my sobriety even though I don't always feel peachy keen. I learned that I am only as sick as my secrets and as I  continue to expose myself I get healthier. Vulnerability is the key to open the door to my inner happiness.