Day Thirty Two: Back on the Grind

I have not been feeling acting lately, but a job opportunity came through from my agents. Its so bad to dread having to audition. I don't know why I'm so over it. Maybe I don't want to connect with my emotions. Acting is such an intimate and difficult path at times. My friend Mackenzie came over at 2am and helped me put my audition on tape. I really felt out of the game. I just returned to my acting class on Tuesday and I was also feeling out of place. Especially with all my friends being so skinny, I'm so jealous since I used to look like that too. Oh the curse of the rehab weight and the weight I'm holding on to from my medications. I did feel like I connected during my audition so hopefully it will get some good response. Even though I'm hating auditioning I do feel like my skills haven't gotten too rusty. I learned that sometimes you just have to push yourself even when the passion is gone, in hopes that that passion will return. I learned that its okay not to be super excited about everything. I also learned that I am a good actress and I am a voice in this world. Wish me luck as I continue on my journey.