Day One Hundred and Sixty Five: Kisha's Birthday

Today was Kisha's birthday party and she had a wine and chocolate tasting where she did all this research about which wines would bring out the essence of the chocolate. Of course I couldn't participate so I had sparkling water instead of wine, which didn't suck too bad. However they did have a Moscato there and I ended up smelling the bottle. Kisha only chose red wines, since she knew I was not a red wine drinker. There are times that I still think I can drink, but then I wonder if it will lead to other things. My counselors are convinced that it will and that I have no control. I just want to feel normal sometimes. We later went to a bar where they were playing Haitian music for the majority of the time. I couldn't take it anymore so I cut out early but Kisha was having a good time so that was the only thing that mattered. I learned that I am getting more comfortable in just drinking water, but I still feel like I'm missing out on all the fun. I also learned that I have deep seated issues with not feeling a part of the crowd.