Day One Hundred and Fifty Eight: Pregnant Women Everywhere

I went to yoga today and another one of my yoga teachers is pregnant. That is the third teacher this year and it's really got me thinking about how I would have hoped to have been pregnant at this time in my life. It makes me feel sad because I never pictured having a baby with anyone but my ex husband and now that we are no longer together I have a hard time envisioning myself in another relationship. I know that everything happens for whatever reason its supposed to but I am still in fear that my opportunity to have a family is gone. I am still not done mourning the loss of my previous life, the support, security, and the faith that someone would love me until the day I died. Hopefully I will find that again. I learned that I miss my old life and the dreams that will no longer happen with him haunt me. I also learned that I am jealous when I see pregnant women with wedding rings because I am reminded that I don't have that anymore. However I'm still trying to have some faith that it will happen for me at some point, but that shit is really hard.