Day Ninety Four: BBQ

Today is the 4th of July and this is my first one clean and sober. The fourth is a big trigger for me because it reminds me of being married and having a BBQ. My life is changing, I stopped by a friend's BBQ for a few and then attended a meeting. I realized I don't really like going to BBQ's that much, but it was great to see my friends and the kids. I really have a great relationship with those kids. No fireworks for me tonight, I'm not really a holiday celebration person. I learned that I can do things differently and I have to start new patterns for myself, because more holidays will be coming. I learned that I am learning self control and that the bitterness that I feel when I see other people enjoying life while drinking has started to lessen.