Missing in Action

Its been a long time since I've written on my blog. I've been dating myself and learning a great deal about myself in the process. For one I continue to pick men that are just like my father, a habit that I definitely intend to work on breaking. I also learned that when I get in relationships that I succumb to silence, I become a Stepford Wife to an extent, I am so focused on becoming the woman that they want me to be, that I lose myself in the process. Well no more of that. My birthday passed a couple weeks ago and for my new year I have vowed to find my voice and to use it. No more being put down, no more negative self talk, no more. New year, new beginnings. I hope my journey proves to be productive

Day One Hundred and Eight Seven: Rehearsal

I return to acting class tomorrow night and I had my first rehearsal with my scene partner, which I think went pretty well. I didn't feel to out of it and I also was able to listen and answer and really be in the scene. I don't feel like I've lost any of my skills, but this will be a lot of work to add to my schedule, but I guess I'm ready for the challenge, only time can tell on that. I'm working with a young boy, surprise surprise, but I have a feeling that we will progress in our scene that usually is the way things work out when I'm working with boys. I tend to notice that boys have great progression when they are working with me, but I'm not trying to big up myself or anything its just something that I tend to notice. I am learning that I am ready to have fun in class, but definitely not interested in auditioning at this time. If I can just have a little fun I think class will be a good addition to my busy schedule.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Six: Brunch with the Crew

This has definitely been a going out weekend for me. After having a lovely evening with Kisha I got to meet up with my old crew from acting class for brunch, which was really nice. I had french toast which I've been dreaming of for about 3 weeks now. French toast and a mimosa would have been ideal, but I stuck to orange juice, boo on that, but it was so great to see everybody and let them know what has been going on in my life and catch up with them. I let them know that I am returning to class just for fun,and I have gone back to my old life of living one day at a time. One day at a time is so hard sometimes. It was good to talk and see everybody, I hope we can do it again real soon. I learned that I need to have more fun and I definitely have more fun when I'm seeing the people that I really enjoy being around.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Five; Girl Date

I've been dying to go on a Kisha date for about a month, but we were finally able to hook up this weekend and go to dinner at black swan, where my mac and cheese was tasty but kind of salty. I went to a friends one year celebration at AA beforehand so I was definitely ready to have some fun with my friend. We had a chance to catch up and vent about issues in our lives. I always need a good girl date every now and again otherwise I get myself into a tizzy about the stupid situations that tend to surround my life from time to time. I learned that I need to spend more time with my girlfriends. I also learned that I am making more friends in my life and I am happy about that as well.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Four: Return to Yoga

I've been missing a lot of yoga this week and I finally went to class tonight after a really long week at work. It was a really simple class which was probably what I needed. We even did ball work which I love to do because it works out the kinks in my hips and upper thighs. The class was a level 1/2 so we were moving a little slower but I still got good stretching in and I could definitely keep up without feeling overworked, which was nice. I learned that my body gets out of whack really quickly when I don't attend yoga consistently. I also learned that sometimes I need a relaxing class in my day as well.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Three: I did it

I did it, I got up at three this morning and ran on the elliptical machine. I did my morning meditation and ran and got ready for work and caught some extra z's in between but I did it. I finally did it, I can't believe I made it happen for myself since I've been so tired lately.  I just don't want to deviate too far from my running plan since this is the recommendation from the nutritionist. I will run again this weekend for sure but I have to get 2-3 weekdays in there as well. Its becoming really packed for me as of late. I learned that I need to map out my week now, versus just mapping out my day so that I can really plan out this workout schedule without having to wake up at the crack of down everyday and make that decision. I also learned that I need more sleep.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Two: Lazy Again

I have been so tired lately and I've just been wanting to kick back and relax a lot. I don't know if its the change of the seasons or what but I have not been as motivated as a I usually am. Maybe its time for me to evaluate my life and do better planning since I have such a busy schedule. I came home and laid on the couch while I pigged out on snacks. I didn't even have a proper dinner. Sometimes I just want to pig out and lay around. So I did that, but I will be sure to work it off tomorrow. I can't just eat what I want anymore, which makes me so sad. I can't wait until I can fit back into my old wardrobe. I learned that its okay to take some time to myself in the lazy department. Even though this is day two of laziness for me I won't let it become a trend.