Day One Hundred and Eight Seven: Rehearsal

I return to acting class tomorrow night and I had my first rehearsal with my scene partner, which I think went pretty well. I didn't feel to out of it and I also was able to listen and answer and really be in the scene. I don't feel like I've lost any of my skills, but this will be a lot of work to add to my schedule, but I guess I'm ready for the challenge, only time can tell on that. I'm working with a young boy, surprise surprise, but I have a feeling that we will progress in our scene that usually is the way things work out when I'm working with boys. I tend to notice that boys have great progression when they are working with me, but I'm not trying to big up myself or anything its just something that I tend to notice. I am learning that I am ready to have fun in class, but definitely not interested in auditioning at this time. If I can just have a little fun I think class will be a good addition to my busy schedule.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Six: Brunch with the Crew

This has definitely been a going out weekend for me. After having a lovely evening with Kisha I got to meet up with my old crew from acting class for brunch, which was really nice. I had french toast which I've been dreaming of for about 3 weeks now. French toast and a mimosa would have been ideal, but I stuck to orange juice, boo on that, but it was so great to see everybody and let them know what has been going on in my life and catch up with them. I let them know that I am returning to class just for fun,and I have gone back to my old life of living one day at a time. One day at a time is so hard sometimes. It was good to talk and see everybody, I hope we can do it again real soon. I learned that I need to have more fun and I definitely have more fun when I'm seeing the people that I really enjoy being around.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Five; Girl Date

I've been dying to go on a Kisha date for about a month, but we were finally able to hook up this weekend and go to dinner at black swan, where my mac and cheese was tasty but kind of salty. I went to a friends one year celebration at AA beforehand so I was definitely ready to have some fun with my friend. We had a chance to catch up and vent about issues in our lives. I always need a good girl date every now and again otherwise I get myself into a tizzy about the stupid situations that tend to surround my life from time to time. I learned that I need to spend more time with my girlfriends. I also learned that I am making more friends in my life and I am happy about that as well.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Four: Return to Yoga

I've been missing a lot of yoga this week and I finally went to class tonight after a really long week at work. It was a really simple class which was probably what I needed. We even did ball work which I love to do because it works out the kinks in my hips and upper thighs. The class was a level 1/2 so we were moving a little slower but I still got good stretching in and I could definitely keep up without feeling overworked, which was nice. I learned that my body gets out of whack really quickly when I don't attend yoga consistently. I also learned that sometimes I need a relaxing class in my day as well.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Three: I did it

I did it, I got up at three this morning and ran on the elliptical machine. I did my morning meditation and ran and got ready for work and caught some extra z's in between but I did it. I finally did it, I can't believe I made it happen for myself since I've been so tired lately.  I just don't want to deviate too far from my running plan since this is the recommendation from the nutritionist. I will run again this weekend for sure but I have to get 2-3 weekdays in there as well. Its becoming really packed for me as of late. I learned that I need to map out my week now, versus just mapping out my day so that I can really plan out this workout schedule without having to wake up at the crack of down everyday and make that decision. I also learned that I need more sleep.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Two: Lazy Again

I have been so tired lately and I've just been wanting to kick back and relax a lot. I don't know if its the change of the seasons or what but I have not been as motivated as a I usually am. Maybe its time for me to evaluate my life and do better planning since I have such a busy schedule. I came home and laid on the couch while I pigged out on snacks. I didn't even have a proper dinner. Sometimes I just want to pig out and lay around. So I did that, but I will be sure to work it off tomorrow. I can't just eat what I want anymore, which makes me so sad. I can't wait until I can fit back into my old wardrobe. I learned that its okay to take some time to myself in the lazy department. Even though this is day two of laziness for me I won't let it become a trend.

Day One Hundred and Eighty One: Super Tired

I was worn out from these weeks of working, cleaning, and exercising. I still am waking up at 4:30 am trying to exercise before work, but that just doesn't seem to be working out for me. I find myself tired in the morning and today I was tired when I got home. So I took me some Benadryl for my bug bites and laid out in my bed and fell out, which was nice. I woke up at 9 and got some food and then I woke back up at 10, but I did feel rested when I got up at 4:30 this morning. I learned that I need to listen to my body when it is telling me that it is tired. I also need to give up some of my activities because I think I am over extending myself.

Day One Hundred and Eighty: Sister Chat

I talked to my sister today and it was really nice to have a long conversation with her. We have both been so busy that we haven't had time to chat in a while. We caught up on each other's lives and I told her about my boyfriend and she helped me make some decisions in addressing some issues. Of course we talked about TV shows and movies. I really enjoy having this time and I didn't realize how little we have been talking lately. I've learned that even though we haven't been talking as often it is great when we do get a chance to catch up. I also learned that we are still the same people we have always been.

Day One Hundred and Seventy Nine; Finding my Voice

Today I got my hair braided and it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I wanted my braids to be thicker and I kept telling her but at the end it wasn't what I wanted. Once again I didn't speak up and just left with the finished product because it had already been a long day and I just wanted to go home at that point. I also have been seeing this guy and I feel like we haven't been spending quality time together. I did speak my mind about this because I was ready to break up and was getting extremely angry about the situation. I told him that I wanted to spend more quality time together vs. just seeing each other. I was very proud of myself. I learned that I am beginning to stand up for myself and use my voice even if it's a little at a time. It does feel nice to let my feelings known to others.

Day One Hundred and Seventy Eight: AA meeting

I spoke at my first AA meeting tonight. I was really nervous because I still don't believe I'm an alcoholic at times, until I start daydreaming about early morning tequila, than I know other people don't drink that in the morning to get their day to a good start. I was able to focus and deliver a clear message so I felt pretty good about my share. I find that I have more and more in common with my outpatient group and I like that. I just wish that I wanted to stay clean. I'm still in that zone of wanting to use. I learned that I can focus and help people with my qualification. I also learned that life continues to be challenging in terms of not using.