Day 9: Hitting the town

Last week I met a really cool girl at the Janelle Monet concert and she invited me to her boyfriend's comedy show. The show was actually really good, there was a  female comic who I thought was particularly hilarious. Now that summertime season has begun people are starting to go out more and now its that time of year where men are becoming more vocal. However, now that I'm getting older but still maintaining my youthful vibe I find myself being hit on by these children and "I can't." The thoughts that run through my head are like "little boy what the hell can you do for me." It's so funny because I always used to just recognize attractive men, but now I'm noticing that the really attractive ones are either gay or young and I don't need some kid that I have to teach hanging around me, probably because I'm not necessarily in a slut it up summer mood. Now the young boys are definitely good for repetitive sex, I do quite enjoy their stamina especially if they are good in the sack but when they're not uggh its like a power drill. You're sore and unsatisfied, not my favorite place to be. But for some reason this year I really feel like saving myself for someone special, unless some hottie happens to cross my path and the chemistry leads me to throw all caution to the wind. Today I learned that I'm in a different place when it comes to looking at the opposite sex. I really am enjoying being by myself and what I really want is a good group of girlfriends to hang out with. It would be nice to have some guy friends, but I don't want to date anyone and now that I'm saying this I'll probably have a boyfriend real soon because that seems to be how it always goes. But while I'm enjoying my singledom, I am appreciating and celebrating this new place that I'm at which is knowing what I don't want.

Day 8:Conversing with the pole

I'm almost back in shape to fully appreciate pole dancing again. Since I had gained and now have lost a significant amount of weight I'm so excited that I can climb the pole again repeatedly. I had dance class tonight and during my dance I was flipping and climbing and everything felt so effortless. At the end of my dance I told my teacher the movement felt like stirring a pot of soup. The freedom of expression that I get from my movement is therapeutic. This is the gift that I am only going to be able to give to myself for a couple more weeks. So as of right now I'm taking it all in. There is something nice about being so in touch with my body.

Day 7: Orange is the New Black

After a massive workout this morning I treated myself to Season 2 of the Netflix hit Orange is The New Black. I can't believe I watched the entire season over this weekend but I had such a good time watching my favorite characters and learning more back stories. I love this show. A great way to close out my weekend. Even though I'm staying up a little too late its totally worth it. It really makes me happy to watch a show with so many talented minority actresses. I love their work. Totally inspired today.

Day 6: 72 Hour Film Shoot

I've just started getting back into the swing of wanting to act again. Yesterday I started looking on the casting sites again and submitting myself for auditions. I am shocked that this day has come back, I guess I've never really lost my love of the craft. Things have started to pick up for me and this weekend I helped my friend Migina with a 72 hour film contest. It was nice to be around creative energy. I also had a chance to talk with my friend about life and got some inspiration in terms of working on projects that make me feel good and getting fulfillment from doing things for me. I know what I want and I don't want to jinx it so when its moving i'll start to share.

Day 5: Thank God It's Friday

This has been the week from hell. I have been exhausted all week running around trying to go to auditions, going to work, interviewing at other jobs, and doing my play; I have been burning the candle down to the wick. So I was really excited to have this week come to a close and finally get a little bit of rest. I have never been so thrilled to have the work week be over. Lately everyone has been telling me that I need to slow down, but sometimes its so hard for me stop. I always am thinking of how I need to be doing something and today I can recognize that. I look at myself and the progress that I have made in the last years and I can really say I am grateful today that I can actually see things that I'm doing. Thank God It's Friday.

Day 4: Sitcom Heaven

I love watching old 80's and 90's sitcoms and now that Designing Women has been airing on Logo, I've been in heaven. After rehearsal I came home and got to kick back with a little sitcom therapy. I don't know what it is about these old shows but they remind me of a happier time in my life where I just could laugh and not be at a ten most of the time. Suzanne Sugarbaker is my new muse. It is so incredible how Delta Burke embodied that character I just can't get enough. Today I allowed myself to relax and slowly I'm getting better at not beating myself up for taking a break. Today I am still learning it's okay to take some time to myself.

Day 3: Kicking Off the Summer

So today was the start of the summer concert series in Brooklyn's Prospect Park and the headliner was the soul songstress Janelle Monet. I rushed home after work, packed me a liquid picnic with a side of salmon and kale, and headed to meet up with a Brooklyn based meet up group so I could enjoy the concert with some fellow music lovers. The line to get in was crazy cookoo bananas, luckily my group settled outside the gate, the view wasn't great but the company was cool. The best part was that I met some cool people. I'm at this transition phase where a lot of my friends have moved away or moved on with their lives and even though I am comfortable spending a lot of time with myself sometimes I get lonely. Sometimes I miss having a best friend that lives here just hanging out watching TV, playing a game of Mall Madness or Super Mario Brothers, and having tequila and tacos on a random night. At first I wasn't feeling it, but I'm happy that I stayed and got a chance to meet a bunch of different people. Summertime is starting to look up, keeping my fingers crossed and inviting positive energy into my life.